First day back to work!

It was so gorgeous this morning.  I woke up just as the sun was rising.  I got ready for work and headed out the door with my iPod in hand, and my purse on my shoulder.  I can’t remember ever having arrived work in more of a prepared mood than I did this morning.  I vow to walk every day the weather co-operates.   It felt weird to be back at work but kinda refreshing.  I certainly had missed everyone but I also realize I NEED more in my life.  I’m not sure what it is. **maybe I’ll join the gym!

I also got these flowers from a work colleague today.  Made my day.

 

I’m struggling.  Seems just about every 6 months D and I have this major fight and break up.  This last one, I think will be for good.  If I could face the facts and just accept reality, i would realize it IS over, but I’m not there yet.

I thought I’d be okay with this, but I’m not.  Pray for me, please.  I want a cigarette so bad… (been smoke free for 3 months).  Go away pain!!

xo

2007!

I can't believe it's 2007! I was telling Dennis, I was right where I wanted to be on New Year's Eve...after shopping, and visiting Mom and Dad C, we made a delicious home cooked steak dinner, had a few drinks, and watched The Soprano's. We went into town Sunday afternoon and splurged on Season 3, it was the only one we hadn't watched yet. Man...I love that show!

The freezing rain! Glad it melted this morning.

Kids got back home tonight. They are pleased with their new video games, Dad bought them. I'm uploading pictures right now to the online photo lab. I'm gonna make Luce a scrapbook for her birthday and I've only got till Saturday...so i betta bust my butt. Not sure i'm gonna use all 80 pictures I'm sending in to get developed. That'll be one big scrapbook! HEHEHE. Yay...another scrapbook week. :-)

Generally, I make a Resolution NOT to have a NEW YEAR's RESOLUTION but this year I have a few:

1. Quit Smoking
2. Lose Weight
3. Wash Make up off before I go to bed
4. Pay off Credit Card
5. Take lots of pictures and scrapbook more often

Happy New Year!!

Another Year is coming...seems like just yesterday, that it was Y2K...and the fears that the world would explode. Can't believe it's gonna be 2007!!
2006 was a good year, but I have decided that 2007 is going to be even better. (DIVORCE - yay!).

Hope you all have a FUN New Year. As for me, I'll be right where I belong. Right where I am happiest. See you in 2007!

I'm all alone for once...

I haven't been alone in this house since November. That was the last time Steve took the kids for a weekend. Today he picked them up for 5 days. It's nothing short of a miracle. I am pleased to have this time to myself to relax and clear my head. Tomorrow I go to D's to spend some 'alone' time with him...and ring in the New Year together. I can hardly wait for tomorrow to finish...so I can be on my way.

So what did I do, you ask? I came home from work, stripped down to my underwear, and snuggled up on the sofa with a warm fuzzy blanket, had a nap, phoned my boyfriend, watched some television and updated this blog. I should be sleeping shortly. HA! I get time alone and all I want to do is sleep. It is nice not being required though...for once. "Mom get this, Mom get that!" I'll miss them though...likely. (hehehe - or not). ahhhh...they know I love them immensely.

To prove it, I'm posting these two pics of us...acting silly. These turned out not too bad. Love my new digital camera. Allison has asked for a scrapbook for her birthday, so I must start taking a crap load of pictures this weekend and surprise her with something special!

P.S. I watched the Family Movie we made Mom and Dad, again...only this time I was alone. You were right Stella...it friggin makes you cry! Awesome work!

My Darling Guitar Genius

This was Cynical Limit Live at the Kim Mitchel Concert a couple years ago. You rock hard Babe...great guitar solo! ;)

You're so cuddly...I wuvvvvvvvvvvv you.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww...when I saw this it absolutely 100% reminded me of me and Dennis. :-)

Since I met you

Since I Met You
(author unknown)

I rise each day and wear a smile
With thoughts of you there all the while

And even though we’re miles apart
You’re always living in my heart

The days that pass are just a test
Reminding me that you’re the best

I’ve never felt this way before
Each day I love you even more

It’s all becoming very clear
I know one day that you’ll be near

A change from I and you to we
For you and I were meant to be

Winter is coming...

Ahhhh...Saturday, rain all day. Sunday it was so freakin' windy! We woke up at Dennis' with no power. Wondered how I'd ever make my coffee and just when my migraine started to get out of hand, the power went back on and I was able to get my coffee. (hehehe)...can you say 'addicted to caffeine?"
I absolutely felt like this all weekend, being treated like a princess by my luv'r. I love you babe. Absolutely every time I see you, you confirm that absolutely no one but you could ever make me this happy. :-)



Sarah, your spaghetti was great. I tried your recipe...loved it!
Friday night I watched "The Lakehouse" with Sarah. I love that movie. GREAT CHICK FLICK! ;)

I have decided that I am going to skip my birthday this year. I don't wanna be 36. :-(

Ahhhhh

...Had a great weekend! I woke up early on Saturday morning, (7:30) even though I had intended on sleeping in till 10 or so. I suppose it didn't help that i fell asleep on the sofa watching Viva La Bam with Jory at 8:30 at night. I was so exhausted.

Friday afternoon was Brian's last day at the office. I am a bit bummed about that, because I'll miss him. Not sure how it's going to affect me, other than I'll have a heck of alot more work to do until they find his replacement.

My weekend visit with Dennis was so nice. I was so happy to be with him. We went to Steve and Pam's house on Saturday night for roast beef dinner (holy, best roast beef I've ever had!). They have this adorable Shiloh Sheppard (puppy), but he's HUGE. He was gorgeous. And she had these twin cats, that had white boots on. They were so cuddly. I love Dennis' new curtains in the living room...i want some for my dining room. :-)

Sunday morning, we got up at 11:00. Woke up to snow. Didn't really get any accumulation but there was snow. It ended up being a nice cozy day on the couch watching movies with the warm fuzzy blanket!

David came to visit last night. That was so nice. Kids told me when he left, how nice it was to see him. YOU look GREAT David! Too bad Sandy didn't come, cuz i wanted to see her belly! I'm looking forward to Christmas for the first time in a while. Hoping to get everyone together at my place for lots of 'eats' and 'goodies'. :-) A Candlelight Christmas Eve...sounds nice!

Anyways, should get to work. I got a million and 3 things to do. (GROAN).
Still waiting on that raise. (Double Groan).

Here's a pic of the type of dog we saw this weekend...so gorgeous.

The Weekend was....

We had our turkey dinner on Sunday night. I love cooking for D. Have I mentioned that I really like my man? :-) Love is one thing, but I really like him! "FFS..." ;) ha!

Hey Brenda and Diane...glad you guys went to Stella's...I was gonna call you Saturday night to find out if you had somewhere to go, or else you could have hung out with me and Dennis. I figured you guys would go to Stella's. :-)

Just giving you's all the heads up...Christmas Eve is at my house this year...D, is spending the night with me and the kids...PARTY!!! The whole family is invited! Christmas Eve is on a Sunday night this year, so that works out perfectly! I'll have all of Saturday and Sunday to bake and cook and clean and get ready! Can't wait! I have the kids this year.... yeeha! K, i better get to work. Talk all laters. Love ya's.

P.S. Mom and Dad...i love you guys. I will call you tonight. I got your letter and gift in the mail. What a blessing! :-) xo

What I'm thankful for

We were watching CSI last night, focusing on the coroner stitching up a deceased body, and we sat there wondering why this woman on the table had a red beanie cap on her head, then we realized it wasn't a hat, it was her scalp peeled back onto her face. I almost puked. HA! Man, we friggin' laughed for like a half hour. I guess maybe you had to be there. Strange episode last night. Disappointing.

Kids have their first PD day today. Kayla was up before I left - I told her to get back to bed, but she wanted to grab the computer before Jory got up. Typical. Hehehe.

So...it's Thanksgiving this weekend. Couldn't help but remember how much I love this time of year. So much I decided to get married 15 years ago yesterday. That's right, I'm still officially/legally married, so i celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary yesterday. 3 years on my own...and although at the beginning of my 'loneness' i would have cried the whole day, I sat and thought about how much I just didn't care about him. I didn't think I'd ever get to a point where I'd not be sad that I was almost divorced, but I thought about that day I officially will be and I smiled. I wish it would hurry up. We're almost there. Lawyers are working on the final stages...HURRY IT UP!

I thought of all the things I am grateful for last night, as I lay in bed praying my heart out. Prayed for my kids - thankful they are both healthy (spirit, mind and body) and thankful that they recognize I am their ROCK. Thank you God for my kids.

Thankful for my home. Even though I don't like the circumstance around it, I am thankful that God blesses me with it, and that I can afford it. I am thankful for the 'other' family recognizing that I need 'their' help to make it through. I am thankful to be alive. 3 years ago...I spent many nights wanting to leave this world, and am thankful that I didn't. :-)

Thankful for my family. My mom and dad and sisters/brother who love me and care about me. I am thankful for my neices and nephews and thankful that I will yet again, be an aunt to another little one in April. Thank you God that she/he will be healthy and will be a blessing to our family.

And of course, I am so thankful for Dennis. At a time i felt that NO one could relate to me, that no one could understand me, know me and I had no one to share my soul with, he came along. The past two years I have felt like I finally had the other part of me that I had been looking for all of my life. I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings with D, and know that I am understood, accepted and loved. It is the most amazing feeling knowing that someone out there loves you just the way you are, faults and everything.

I am thankful for all the things that are yet to come. I am mostly thankful that in spite of all my shortcomings and failures, God still takes care of me and loves me enough to let me love these people back.



HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Despite it all

Despite It All
*author unknown

Despite the place
That I'm now in,
This corner of my life
That tells where I've been...

Despite the set backs
That I face,
Or of the tears
That leave a trace...

Despite the time
That distance brings,
Or life's little quirks
And all other things...

Despite that fact
That I still live,
Memories of a past
I can't forgive...

Despite the rains
That flood the trail,
Despite life's winds
A force of gale...

Despite the moon
Lay hidden behind,
The tracks of time
Within my mind...

Despite harsh words
Whispered allowed,
Or of the sun
Behind the clouds...

Despite the way
Life comes about,
My love for you
There is no doubt...

For no force is greater
Then how I feel,
No wall strong enough
To conceal...

No time or distance
Will ever end,
My love for you
transcends.

----------------------
tran·scend (trn-snd)
v. tran·scend·ed, tran·scend·ing, tran·scends
v. tr.
To pass beyond the limits of: emotions that transcend understanding.
To be greater than, as in intensity or power; surpass: love that transcends infatuation. See Synonyms at excel.
To exist above and independent of (material experience or the universe): “One never can see the thing in itself, because the mind does not transcend phenomena” (Hilaire Belloc).

v. intr.
To be transcendent; excel.

2 Year Anniversary

Today we celebrate 2 years together. Babe, you're my rock and soft place. I love you dearly! xo

Apple Picking

We went apple picking at the orchard on Sunday with Sarah and the boys. What a hoot! The Macintosh apples are absolutely delicious! The kids spent an hour in the corn maze, while Sarah and I stood in the hour plus long line up to get apple donuts. Worth the wait (dunno), but they sure were good! Nice and hot!

Jory has come down with a cold...poor little fella, feels like crap. I've got a bit of the sniffles but not nearly as bad as he does.

Sarah...send me those digitals you took...i'll post them here. When i get my roll developed i'll send them to you. (Yeah, I still use ancient photography). *Hopefully get a digital camera for christmas (i'll buy it for myself). {hehehehe}

Going apple picking reminded me of 'our' date two years ago...tomorrow...(anniversary)...it was sweet! "Wanna play with my apples?" LOL!

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love
by BigDawg

A treasure to be cherished
A gift from God above
Is the beauty of a woman
Touched by unconditional love

A love that asks no questions
Believes in all the best
Never doubting, ever trusting
Withstanding any test

A love that weathers any storm
And yet that love that stands
Reaches out through
That darkest hour
It still lends a hand

There in that hand
The sweetest gift
That you can give a woman
A heart that cares
A love that shares
That will be there till the end

A treasure to be cherished
A gift from god above
Is what I share with you my love
An unconditional love